and i got the point that i should leave you alone
but we both know that I'm not that strong

I've been singing all day.
My throat is all cough-y and needs to clear.

I've also been sitting around all day not being productive at all whatsoever.

I really thought I was going to get that job.
I don't think I did though, Dan hasn't called me.
This sucks. I need a new job.

Life lately is like a random playlist.
1. I am listening to a slow and sad mayday parade song. and it put me in a certain mood and it ends and then
BAM

2. Soulja Boy is all up in my face and it puts me in a different mood.

3. then Paramore comes on and I suddenly feel like watching Twilight and I'm not even listening to "Decode."
While I'm thinking about how pissed I am that Paramore makes me think of Twilight. I start thinking of vampires and love stories and thinking about New Moon and when it comes out.
I start to think that I want to read the books to occupy my time lately, which i greatly need.

4. then Coldplay comes on and I think of Lizzy and Michelle. And how Michelle is in Kentucky and she doesn't have any service and I can't talk to her.
I start to get upset because I picked one of the saddest Coldplay songs ever to put on this random fucking playlist.
While I start thinking about people deciding not to be here by my side, I start to get really upset.

5. Then before my eyes start to turn sad Keri Hilson, Kanye West, and Ne-Yo come in and save the day and then I laugh because I need to get over this.
And I dance and sing the song. and Laugh about how the video is my life. and I start to get in a better mood fairly quickly.
I start to want to go hang out with my favorite people lately, who are Jessica, Michelle, and Reyes. But then i remember that Michelle is still gone and Jessica is hungover. And Reyes hung out with me last night so I wouldn't have to be by myself and I wouldn't get myself into a bad mood.
That plan is out.
Then I remember that Kanye West is amazing. And that i have to work in 2 hours and my day is fucking gone.

6. Have Heart starts playing and it makes me feel like driving with Jordan and I skip that song and go straight to Crime in Stereo.

7. Crime in Stereo makes me think of Whitney and being attached at the hip. And I realize we aren't friends again. and I don't remember when we stopped talking. The last time I talked to her she said she chose me over Jordan in the divorce and then she said she'd be at my open house and we would hang out the day after. Never saw her, never hung out with her. But the song is still so good.
And I recall that I loved it so much because I wanted to be there the day he gave up getting fucked up every day. And i won't be. And i think about how I am so much better off without him.

8. So Fuck You by Lily Allen starts. and i sing and sway and go back to thinking about Michelle being gone because she looks like Lily Allen. And i think about how Jessica still has my Katy Perry/Lily Allen CD. fucking hangover.

9. Then A day to remember plays and I realize that was one of the best concerts i've ever been to and i remember being hot and sweaty, then i remembered that i was supposed to be showering.

10. Same As Sunday is going to be famous.

Off to shower!